How Can You Build Your Self-confidence?

So how can you build your self-confidence?

Self-confidence is not something that can be learned like a set of rules.

Self-confidence is a state of mind

Positive thinking, practice, training, knowledge and talking to other people are all useful ways to help improve or boosting your self-confidence levels.

Self-confidence comes from…

  • Feelings of well-being,
  • Acceptance of your body and mind (self-esteem)
  • Belief in your own ability, skills and experience. 

Low self-confidence can be a result of many factors including…

  • Fear of the unknown
  • Criticism
  • Being unhappy with personal appearance (self-esteem)
  • Feeling unprepared
  • Poor time-management
  • Lack of knowledge
  • Previous failures

Self-confidence is not a static measure…


Our confidence to perform roles and tasks can increase and decrease.

Some days we may feel more confident than others.

This post will provide practical advice about things that you can do to build your confidence.

Self-confidence and self-esteem are not the same thing but they are often linked.

Self-confidence is the term we use to describe how we feel about our ability to perform roles, functions and tasks.

Self-esteem is how we feel about ourselves, the way we look, the way we think and whether or not we feel worthy or valued.

People with low self-esteem often also suffer from generally low confidence…

But people with good self-esteem can also have low self-confidence.

It is also perfectly possible for people with low self-esteem to be very confident in some areas.

Performing a role or completing a task confidently is not about not making mistakes. 

Mistakes are inevitable…

Especially when you are doing something new.

Self-confidence includes knowing what to do when mistakes come to light and therefore is also about problem solving and decision making. 

Here are ways to build self-confidence

Planning and Preparation

People often feel less confident about new or potentially difficult situations.

Perhaps the most important factor in developing confidence is planning and preparing for the unknown.

If you are applying for a new job…

You would be wise to prepare for the interview.

Plan what you would want to say in the interview and think about some of the questions that you may be asked.  

Practice your answers with friends or colleagues and gain their feedback.

There are many other examples of planning for an interview…

Perhaps you should visit the salon before you go.

How are you going to travel to the interview and how long will the journey take?

What should you wear?

Take control of unknown situations the best you can…

Break down tasks into smaller sub-tasks and plan as many as you can.

Learning, Knowledge and Training
Learning, Knowledge and Training

Learning and research can help us to feel more confident about our ability to handle situations, roles and tasks.

Knowing what to expect, how and why things are done will add to your awareness.

This usually make you feel more prepared and ultimately more confident.

Learning and gaining knowledge can sometimes make us feel less confident about our abilities to perform roles and tasks…

When this happens we need to combine our knowledge with experience.

By doing something we have learned a lot about…

We can put it into practice…

Which helps develops confidence and adds to the learning and comprehension.

First-time parents to-be may well feel nervous and less than confident about having a baby.

They are likely to buy books or visit websites which can offer advice and dispel some of the mysteries.

They are also likely to talk to other parents to gain knowledge and understanding.

In the workplace…

Training may be provided for staff to teach them how to manage or work with new systems and procedures.

During a period of organizational change this is particularly important as many people will naturally resist changes.

But if those affected by the changes are given adequate information and training…

Then such resistances can usually be minimized.

Positive Thought
Positive Thought

Positive thought can be a very powerful way of improving self-confidence.

There is a lot of information about positive thinking both online and in print.

The basic rules of positive thinking are to highlight your strengths and successes and learn from your weaknesses and mistakes.

This is a lot easier than it sounds and we often dwell on things that we are not happy with from our past.

Making them into bigger issues than they need to be.

These negative thoughts can be very damaging to your self-confidence and your ability to achieve goals.

Try to recondition the way you think about your life:

  • Know your strengths and weaknesses.

Write a list of things that you are good at and things that you know need improvement.

Discuss your list with friends and family…

Inevitably they will be able to add to the list.

Celebrate and develop your strengths.

Find ways to improve or manage your weaknesses.

  • We all make mistakes.

Don’t think of your mistakes as negatives but rather as learning opportunities.

  • Accept compliments and compliment yourself.

When you receive a compliment from somebody else then thank them and ask for more details like what exactly did they like?

Recognize your own achievements and celebrate them by rewarding yourself and telling friends and family about them.

  • Use criticism as a learning experience.

Everybody sees the world differently…

From their own perspective…

What works for one person may not work for another.

Criticism is just the opinion of somebody else.

Be assertive when receiving criticism and don’t reply in a defensive way or let criticism lower your self-esteem.

Listen to the criticism and make sure that you understand what is being said.

Use the criticism as a way to learn and improve.

  • Try to stay generally cheerful and have a positive outlook on life. 

Only complain or criticize when necessary.

When you do, do so in a constructive way.

Offer others compliments and congratulate them on their successes.

Talking to Others and Following Their Lead
Talking to Others

Generally, people are attracted to confident people.

Self-confidence is one of the main characteristics of charisma.

Speaking to and being around people who are self-confident will usually help you to feel more confident.

Learn from others who are successful in fulfilling the tasks and goals that you wish to achieve.

Let their confidence rub off on you.

As you become more confident then offer help and advice and become a role-model for somebody who is less confident.


As we successfully complete our tasks and goals…

Then our self-confidence will make the same and similar tasks feel easier to do.

Gaining experience and taking the first step can be very difficult.

Often the thought of starting something new is worse than actually doing it.

This is where preparation, learning and thinking positively can help.

Break roles and tasks down into small achievable goals.

Make each one of your goals a SMART goal.

That is to make your goals Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Timed.

Be Assertive
Be Assertive

Being assertive means standing up for what you believe in and sticking to your principles.

Being assertive also means that you can change your mind if you believe it is the right thing to do.

Not because you are under pressure from somebody else.

Assertiveness, confidence and self-esteem are all very closely linked and usually people become naturally more assertive as they develop their self-confidence.

Avoid Arrogance
Avoid Arrogance

Arrogance is detrimental to interpersonal relationships.

As your confidence grows and you become successful.

Avoid feeling or acting superior to other people.

Remember that nobody is perfect and there is always more that you can learn.

Celebrate your strengths and successes and recognize your weaknesses and failures.

Give others credit for their work and use compliments and praise sincerely.

Be courteous and polite and show an interest in what others are doing.

Then ask questions and get involved.

Admit to your mistakes and be prepared to laugh at yourself!

How To Have Self Confidence – Tony Robbins –

My next post will be about: Tips and Tricks to Build Your Self-confidence

Here is an interesting article on: Building Self-Confidence

Read my latest blog on: Understanding What Self-confidence Is

(NOTE: if you want to follow my personal formula to building irresistible brand in the network marketing business and making it unnecessary to pitch randomly people on Facebook, family and friends ever again? PLUS you will discover our Automatic Downline Builder Program. Click Here for INSTANT ACCESS)
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About Maria Barina

Maria Barina is a mother and grandmother who worked for the NYC Board of Education as Laboratory Specialist Bio/GS for 26yrs till the age of 56. Her husband, after 37 of marriage, passed away from Lung Cancer. She came to myEmpirePRO to seek guidance on how to get freedom that an online business can provide. Freedom to her is being able to do what she wants, when she wants to and to show others they can do the same to. Since she done that she is able to do this by working anywhere she goes and became a mobile-prenuer

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